Our beautiful baby girl Lily

I truly do not think we would have been able to get through another pregnancy and return to work without the amazing counselling sessions from The Bodie Hodges Foundation.

On Wednesday 9th November at 4.23pm after 15.5 hours of fighting once we withdrew care, our beautiful baby girl Lily Ivy June passed away in our arms.

Life was a blur for months, living in a house where she never came home to, arranging a funeral and going back to work.

Then came Bodie Hodges Foundation.

Wow!

The moment we stepped into that building, I knew I could gain strength to keep getting up each day.

Having counselling with Niki, every 2 weeks for the last 2 years has made me into the woman and family we are today.

Walking into the building was like entering another family and safe place to just let all emotions and thoughts out.

Some sessions I just cried and cried asking why it happened to me and my family, others were better days where I rationalised why I was gifted with those four precious days with our beautiful girl and how she showed me the amount of love I have to give to family and friends around me.

Niki was there with me every step of the way, supporting me and helping me work through the guilt, anger, happiness and grief.

Nearly 2 years after losing Lily, we were able to welcome a very healthy little boy Oliver in August 2024.

I truly do not think we would have been able to get through another pregnancy and going back to work without the amazing counselling sessions at Bodie Hodges Foundation.

You helped us move forward without ever forgetting our Beautiful baby girl Lily. Thank you!

read lily's story

Myself and Alex hadn’t been together long, just moved into our first home, all moving so fast! I was full of cold, turned out having covid and lugging boxes etc whilst wearing a mask and coughing constantly wasn’t the great moving experience we hoped for!

Still feeling poorly few weeks later, negative covid tests and just not feeling myself we thought something else must be going on. Scared and excited at the same time – we took the pregnancy test.

Those few minutes were the longest time of our lives.

And there it was – 2 little lines.

I couldn’t believe it, I cried instantly as the happiness and nerves set in, we were going to have a baby!

I was so in love with our little baba growing inside me

Hearing her heartbeat at every midwife appointment just made me fall in love with her again and again.

Every 3am wiggle session was sacred, mine and Lily’s time together whilst her daddy slept beside us.

Then 38 weeks came and things started to become slightly abnormal, more sleepy, some days resulting in me going in for checks and her kicking as soon as the monitoring went on (of course) or overactive other days.

Growth tailed off, so extra scans but all came back fine, heartbeat strong and wiggling lots!

Lily’s due date of the 25th October 2022 came and went.

I was walking constantly, doing different exercises, going for meals, watching scary movies in the cinema – anything to let us meet our baby.

41 weeks came, a few cramps but nothing else. I had a sweep completed on the Monday and was already 1cm.

Then the “any baby yet?” messages began! But nothing. Few days went by, still nothing.

Thursday came – our little baba was having the rave of her life. All of us were so excited thinking she was getting ready to come out, unfortunately wasn’t the case, she was telling me something was wrong but I didn’t know.

Friday was a very sleepy day, not like our baba at all. I tried eating different things, moving and resting and drinking fizzy pop. Eventually I felt big movements. Satisfied I’d felt her I settled into standard afternoon shopping trip and walk.

Victoria went to bed exhausted.

By 3 a.m., Lily’s movements were still infrequent. Fear took over so Victoria and Alex packed a bag and headed to hospital.

Victoria was monitored and they heard Lily’s heartbeat.

“I cried with relief!” says Victoria.

But things changed quickly. Lily was too poorly for induction, an emergency C-section was our only hope. At 9:51 a.m. on 5th November, our beautiful little girl arrived.

“It was such a shock having a little girl as my sister had welcomed my nephew in August 2022 and my mum had three boys before finally having me!“

For 30 seconds, there was joy. Then silence.

The words that will stay with me forever: Baby not breathing”.

Lily started breathing after a few minutes and her dad, Alex went for cuddles before she was taken down to the NICU.

“I lay there feeling so helpless whilst they completed the surgery and was taken to recovery. My whole body was numb from and the surgery meds. I was in and out of sleep with every thought running through my mind.

I am a children’s nurse and have seen all the good and all the bad, my mind was racing with all the interventions and treatments that could be given to help our beautiful baby girl survive”.

The consultant came to speak to Victoria and Alex to explain how they had cooled Lily’s body temperature down to further protect the brain.

“A day later, she started to show signs that more damage had been done than anticipated. Our little girl began to have seizures. It broke me. I know what this meant and having to explain to Alex that yes a baby can die from seizures was horrific”.

After 2 days, I finally got to hold my beautiful baby girl.

They nurses had began to slowly warm her up and move her into a different incubator so it was the perfect time to have cuddles.

The morning after was the day I didn’t want to arrive. The MRI confirmed what Lily had been telling them and us – she’s not going to survive.

All the major parts of her brain had been damaged through starvation of oxygen as my placenta had failed her.

We had the ‘talk’ with the consultant and nursing staff that none of us would every wish on any parents – she’s not going to survive this brain injury and we need to let her go. We cried and hugged and the staff were incredible – their words ‘you are not making this decision’ ‘we are’ helped so much in that devastating moment.