This blog explores how employers can support staff returning to work after the death of a baby or child. Child bereavement is a unique and lifelong grief, and understanding how to respond with compassion can make a meaningful difference in the workplace.
Child Bereavement in the Workplace: What Employers Need to Know
The grief families bereaved of a child experience is lifelong and they must learn in time to carry their love for their child and the pain of not seeing them grow.
Now imagine carrying that grief and having to walk back into a workplace with little or no support or understanding.
Feeling like you are expected to continue your role to the same level as you did before, but you have no idea how to make sense of the world anymore.
The Impact of Returning to Work After the death of a child
Employers may want to support but feel unsure about how to do this and fear they might make it worse by saying the wrong thing. Here at the Bodie Hodges Foundation, we want to educate employers on how to support people in the workplace following the death of a baby or child.
“Half of adults in the UK have said they have experienced, or know someone who has experienced, pregnancy or baby loss.” (Tommy’s – the pregnancy and baby charity).
“There were 3,492 child (0 – 17 years) deaths in England in the year ending 31 March 2025.” (National Child Mortality Database).
30% of these deaths occur suddenly and unexpectedly.
This means there’s a real likelihood that someone in your workplace is coping with this kind of grief, and will need colleagues who understand how to support them.
Why Workplace Support Matters
Nicola Rhodes, Lead Bereavement Counsellor at The Bodie Hodges Foundation, offers valuable guidance on how employers can support bereaved employees in the workplace, including those returning to work after the loss of a baby or child.
“Supporting someone after the death of a child requires ongoing understanding. Grief is not linear, and for many parents, the death of their child is a lifelong journey that can affect their wellbeing, concentration, and emotional needs at different times.
For managers and HR teams, creating a compassionate workplace means recognising these fluctuations and responding with sensitivity, flexibility, and empathy. Simple, sincere communication really can make a meaningful difference.
It is absolutely okay to say, “I’m so sorry for your loss” or even, “I don’t know what to say.”
Employees do not expect perfect words, what they value most is honest acknowledgment and genuine support. By creating an environment where bereaved colleagues feel seen, understood, and supported, employers can play a crucial role in helping them navigate work during an incredibly difficult time.
Practical Ways to Offer Support
- Encourage open communication — Let the team member lead the conversation at their own pace.
- Use their child’s name when speaking with them; it shows their child is remembered.
- Ask how they would like colleagues to be informed and what details they are comfortable sharing.
- Consider the nature of their role — For example, do they interact with clients or colleagues regularly? How might their bereavement affect these responsibilities?
- Discuss leave and return-to-work options — Depending on the circumstances, maternity/paternity leave may or may not apply. Explore together what a return might look like, including any concerns about facing clients or colleagues.
- Offer flexibility — Some may prefer a phased return or lighter responsibilities, while others may want to resume their usual role. Always include them in these decisions.
- Schedule regular check-ins — A short, end-of-day catch-up can provide space to share how they are coping with workload and interactions. Sometimes presence matters more than questions.
- Acknowledge cognitive impacts of grief — Grief can affect memory, concentration, and processing. Be patient with mistakes, slower responses, or forgetfulness, and adjust expectations accordingly.
Ongoing Considerations
- Be mindful of significant dates — Birthdays, anniversaries, religious or cultural events, and holidays such as Christmas can be particularly difficult. They may request time off or prefer to avoid certain meetings. Keep a not of these for future years as these will always be hard.
- Acknowledge workplace triggers — Pregnancy announcements or baby-related conversations may be painful. Discreetly check in with them to see how they are managing. Equally turning 16, 18 and getting married are also triggers. for bereaved families.
Guidance for Colleagues
Many colleagues worry about saying the wrong thing. The most important principle is to acknowledge the loss rather than avoid it.
- Avoid intrusive or excessive questioning, especially as they adjust to returning to work.
- Remember: mentioning their child will not “remind” them of their grief — they have not forgotten. Instead, it shows that their child is remembered and valued.
- Do not be afraid to use their child’s name. Most bereaved parents appreciate hearing it.
If you are an employer, please apply these practical steps where appropriate, and remember that just because someone looks ok, does not mean they are.
Please refer back to this information whenever you need to, or alternatively, contact a member of our bereavement team here at The Bodie Hodges Foundation for further advice and support.
